I have a favorite five word phrase. Want to know what it is?
That’s a really good question.
No, really. That’s the phrase.
I love it when a client says, “that’s a really good question.” Not for my ego. For their growth.
When I ask powerful questions and hold space for a client to find their own answers, I’m serving them well, and that’s always my intention. Sometimes I have a hunch that a client’s getting what they need, but affirmation from them like “that’s a really good question” helps me be more certain.
Sure, I give advice. Very seldom. Always with a client’s permission and always being clear that they’re the one who gets to decide whether to follow it or not. Their agenda, not mine. I teach a little bit, too, because, well, it’s like breathing to me, and sometimes understanding a concept or framework is just what a client needs.
Mostly, though, coaching is about asking questions and holding space for clients to discover what they what more of and how to get it.
What do you want more of?
One of my favorite questions.
What do you want more of?
It’s your turn, dear reader. What do you want more of?
Take a moment to ponder.
My experience suggests your answer will be some combination of:
- I don’t have a clue.
- I sort of know, but I can’t seem to get it.
- Anything but this!
And that’s OK. You’ve taken a critical first step. Keep asking until you get to something so positive, so aligned, so compelling that you can’t wait to move toward it. Heck, glimpses of your heart’s desire may just start to show up, as if unbidden, in a magical-feeling sort of way. Go with it.
Can’t seem to get your house to the level Kondo-perfect you desire? Keep asking. What do I want more of? Maybe what you really want is simply to get all those semi-dirty clothes off the bedroom chair once and for all. Or you just might discover you want to downsize to the point of being able to travel the world, living and working in an RV.
If what you want is your boss to stop being a tyrant, a particular coworker to stop being a bully and half your team to stop being slackers, guess what? That’s out of your hands. You can’t change them.
But you can change you. And you can get more of what you really want.
Keep asking. What do I want more of? Focus on more, not less, on the affirmative, and affirming, things you want more of in the next stage of your career. You’ll be clearing the path for a boss and colleagues who treat you like the smart, capable professional human being that you are and for work that lights you up and serves others.
What do I want more of isn’t just for big moves in your life and career. It can serve you in the day-to-day, too.
So keep asking. What do I want more of? Keep giving yourself space for unexpected answers to bubble up.
You’ll be surprised at how much easier you start getting more of what you want.
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image Pixabay; used with permission